It is so predictable. I’m learning this. To be in flow is a beautiful thing. The ease of it. The lack of worry, stress, tightness in your body.
I’ve spent the bulk of the past few months in a state of grace. “Working” doesn’t feel like work. (90% of the time) Writing when I’m inspired, not because I ‘have’ to. Taking inspired action. Taking days off to be in joyful play time with my 5 year old. This is ultimate flow.
Trust, faith and inspired action have worked.
They led to 10k downloads of my podcast in 3 months’ time. They led to 1500 subscribers on this blog in a short period and in a way that both serves them and my business. They led to a growing community of truth seekers and beautiful souls. They led to unexpected income in amounts surpassing 10k in a short time (above and beyond my usual income). Flow. A beautiful thing.
And yet once in a while – several days in the last week, in fact – I catch myself getting caught up in action. In striving. In wanting to ‘make it work’. In needing to make it work. In hustle. In strategy. In marketing. In doing the right thing, the right way to make x amount of income for my family, in x amount of time, etc. etc.
What happens? I get tight. Physically, in my body there is a tension. There is also a preoccupation of my mind, in a way that doesn’t serve me or others. It feels pushed. It feels forced. It feels like if I don’t do x,y,z then I won’t be able to do/have a,b,c.
I think I’m a rather emotional person (and pregnancy hormones aren’t helping 🙂 ) but I had a tearful moment two days ago where I felt somewhat defeated by circumstance. Yes, the overall picture was still good, but I was caught up in a bizarre sense of defeat from certain details and circumstances. Things that in fact, aren’t really even true. Distortions. Perceptions. FEAR talking.
I had my 10 minute tearful pity party. These have become few and far between over the years, I’m happy to say. And I felt complete surrender.
Help me God to get back on track. Back in the flow.
I began to write and think and say things I knew to be true.
I love the feeling of being connected to Source.
I know that feeling of flow and inspiration and I crave it for my own well-being.
Serving others through my purpose is what I’m here to do.
I know that when I align my energy, all good things flow to me.
And on and on… I said to myself.
The next day I committed to a stress-free day. Joy-seeking. Some work yes, but more meditation, more downtime, more rest, more sunshine, more play.
That night, I listened to Gabby Bernstein on her webinar about living your vision. And she said some things I already knew, but apparently needed to hear again and in a new way.
She talked about how it is preferable to work 1 day of the week in the flow of inspired energy than to work 5 days pushing/striving in action to make it happen.
She talked about being authentic and genuine. That people respond to that energy and the right people will find you.
Both things I had been doing quite naturally when I started this project, The Truth about Living back in November 2016. But sometimes I fall out of it. Sometimes I get caught up in the details.
Hearing her words gave me a kind of peace and a kind of clarity.
I pulled back immediately on all tasks that felt like work. Funny, isn’t it? That life is actually supposed to be easy. Ha! I love it.
I was inspired to do a video when I was completely raw and vulnerable. No make-up, late night, some stress going on. Just did it. Just because I thought the message I was inspired to talk about would help someone.
I cut back on checking my stats, my sales, my subscribers, everything. I decided to look for things that would bring me joy. A decaf peppermint mocha with coconut milk was among them. 🙂
I rested. I started conversations in Facebook that were inspirational, motivational and full of deep respect and connection. I laughed heartily at my kiddo’s t-ball game. 4 and 5 year olds wearing baseball gloves on their heads, running in the wrong direction and playing in the dirt rather than playing ball. It felt amazing. And the day after that, the only word that describes this next feeling is elation.
Leaving my doctor’s office from a well visit at 38 weeks pregnant I was ELATED to discover I’d been looking at my calendar wrong all day and it was actually near the beginning of April. Baby is due in April. It was March 28th, when I had been looking at the previous week, thinking March 22nd.
March 28th!! How delightful!! Baby is almost here! Hallelujah. Positively elated.
Elation filled me for the next few hours.
So… what is the result in this shift in energy?
I went from being in flow (generating success to boot), to being tense (having resistance), to being in flow again in a matter of about a week.
It’s honest to goodness like turning a magnet on and off.
Magnet on/in flow/good energy: the right people, situations and circumstances were coming to me… there was spiritual and business growth
Magnet off/being tense/having resistance or worry: carry over of good momentum from before meant I still had a lot of the right people thankfully 🙂 and income – but two business strategies were flopping and therefore income was as well… I did lose a handful of subscribers during this period as well which made me doubt myself
Magnet on/back in flow: sales started to pick up of my online course (The Gratitude Solution), new folks joined my fb group and were amazingly kind and soulful beings, and my son was even super delightful (having just had a few very grumpy days in a row)
It really, really is true. When you are connected to source. When you can let go of attachment to outcomes. When you can relax, embrace happiness and just be in the flow of life with faith and inspired action – your life will show the evidence of it almost immediately.
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