What is your highest purpose?
Since reading (or rather listening to on Audible) “Life Visioning,” by Michael Bernard Beckwith, I have taken to adding a question to the end of my meditations at times. The question is, “What is my highest purpose for today (or for this project, or fill-in-the-blank)”.
It’s based on the idea that when you sit and still your mind, you gain clarity. You have access to a different kind of listening. You can call it what you like. Your inner voice, your higher self, a higher power, God.
The idea is the same. To open yourself up to direction, to guidance, to receiving an answer.
One of the first times I used this tool was at the start of this website – The Truth About Living. I meditated and asked the question, “What is my highest purpose with this project?”
The answer I received was immediate. “To lead others to God/Love – the love of life.” I wrote it down.
I wish I could count the number of times love has been written across this blogging platform. It’s remarkable. If there truly is energy in a word, this website is bathed in it, up and down. Love, love, love.
And it’s deep right? It seems to be the basis for A Course in Miracles and seems to be the answer I’ve been getting for year’s now when I ponder the basic and fundamental question of the purpose of life. What is it all about? It’s got to be about love – somehow.
Today, I asked the question again, although admittedly, this question/answer seemed somewhat less profound at the time. It’s a Tuesday, and I have committed to working every Tuesday. I start around 9am and end around 1pm. It’s part of our family schedule.
The Work Week
Having had a really productive Monday, I was eager to get back to it on Tuesday. Yet, after an hour passed I began to notice a true fatigue coming over me. (Keep in mind I am 5 months pregnant as I write this, so some fatigue is normal.)
But it felt as if I hadn’t slept enough and wasn’t thinking clearly enough. I began to feel as though I had foggy thinking and work began to really churn on slowly. After taking two short breaks, I still wasn’t getting my mojo back.
It was barely 11am and I felt I’d hit a wall for my work day way too early. Fear subtly crept in because the mind becomes so busy, the ego. “But I have to work because I have to get x,y,z done. This is a critical time because the podcast is launching and I have to do a,b,c so I can have x,y,z.” etc etc. You get the idea. I began to lead with fear.
So I took a moment. I took a few.
I began to still my mind, quiet my thoughts. I then asked silently, “What is my highest purpose for today?” The answer came quickly and surprised me. “Rest.”
My mind wanted to reject this answer.
How could rest be my highest purpose when I had so much to do?
My Amazon business was in the midst of Christmas sales… I had commitments to keep with others and to myself, and the podcast was live and launching… Rest?
“The baby,” I thought. I must need rest because of the baby. “Okay, that makes sense,” my mind rationalized.
What was missing was trust.
I had heard my inner guidance but was not fully trusting it because it didn’t give me the answer I expected.
Nevertheless, my body was calling, beginning to ache. And my mind was checking out.
With the luxury of a work-from-home job (read why I love online entrepreneurship here) I headed downstairs for some rest. Hours went by and I felt a twinge of guilt for ‘doing nothing’ when I should be working.
As evening approached and dinner time came and went, I began to feel a surge of energy. Hmm.. wouldn’t it be interesting if I was called to rest earlier today, because my inspiration was going to spike at night. Resting during the day would make it possible to stay up late and work. And working with and through inspiration is what it is all about for me these days.
Find the podcast episode 002 called “On Being in the Flow” about working through inspiration, The Truth About Living podcast on iTunes
How often I have sat up late at night while inspiration flowed through me. Even as I type this now, my fingers move so fast that I’m likely to write thousands of words within the course of a couple of hours.
Why didn’t I trust it?
We are so trained to believe that we have to follow rules. We have work hours that are set. We need to be efficient, productive. We have to get up at 5am and write our goals daily if we truly want success. We have to hustle, to sweat, to stress.
What is that’s not true? What if leading with inspiration is more effective?
That’s where I am right now. 3 years ago, at the start of this journey (thoughts become things, success mentality, online entrepreneurship) I led with f-a-i-t-h. It fueled me. It excited me. It kept me up late at night with the pure innocent energy of enthusiasm. The result? I was successful. My projects often worked. I made money. I felt empowered.
6 months ago? Not so much. I was feeling pressure to discipline myself. I have to get up at 5am to be successful. That’s what all successful entrepreneurs do. I have to write my goals daily. I have to make a strategic plan for the next 3 months. I have to focus.
This works for so many entrepreneurs. It seems like Entrepreneurship 101. Those disciplines are often the foundation for success.
I call it leading with sheer grit and determination. You are going to m-a-k-e it happen, dammit.
But in the last 6 weeks, I have cried uncle. I surrendered. I failed. I capitulated.
I realized that that approach is not what I need right now.
I stopped climbing up a mountain I didn’t even realize I was climbing. I gave up on two huge projects that I discovered I no longer enjoyed or wanted to pursue – even though they were part of our livelihood and income. And I started writing – here – on this blog.
I’ve gotten more accomplished in the last 6 weeks than I have in the last 6 months. Don’t get me wrong… I WAS working in the last 6 months, but this is different. This is flow. This is good, good, fulfilling energy. This feels right. This feels effortless. If only you could witness how fast my fingers move now across the keys.
The dozens of podcast episodes I recorded? All done within the last 6 weeks. Everything is happening at lightning speed.
Trust? I should have that by now.
When I ask the question, “What is my highest purpose here (in this situation)?” I should trust the answer I get. That is what I’m learning to do.
Whether it’s life-changing and profound, or whether it’s signals from my body and mind, I need to acknowledge.
Ultimately, taking a few hours off of work should not generate fearfulness. If I believe in this work, it will happen, regardless. Trust, trust, trust.
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